Beautiful Things
by fascimility
Summary: Written in Akira's POV. A poem on his feelings after Hikaru left for China. [mild shounen-ai]


Authors Notes:  From Akira's point of view, written about his feeling after Hikaru left for China without warning. (Can we just assume that he left for China on a study trip? ^^)  It's a poem, written in free style, without any fixed format. Comments are appreciated , as always :)  Could you please tell me what you think of it? I want to see if the effect I intended to bring out actually came through. 

Thank you! 

~Beautiful things~

You hooked your little finger over mine, 

in a gesture so earnestly innocent,

that for that passing fleeting moment,

I was willing to believe in it.

Nothing beautiful lasts forever, 

you said to me one day while we sat and 

ate ice cream swinging on the swings 

right outside the park

But you were smiling when you said it,

smiling that beautiful smile

that lingered long after you stopped smiling.

That day we swung and swung,

Side by side, together right through

the falling dusk

When it rained, we would stay

huddled on that sofa at your house 

staring at the fat droplets hurtling,

splashing against the pavement

You said that the rain was beautiful

Because it was the tears of someone

somewhere who had lost 

the thing he held deepest in his heart

I laughed at that, brushing it away,

calling you a romantic and a dreamer.

I never realised how I had hurt you

when I said that; not even registering

the pain and sadness, flowing down your cheeks

as tears

I was blind. I took so much away

from you, but gave so little in return. But

you never ever said a word to me, just

stayed contently by my side, just

giving, and giving

You gave me all you could, all

the feelings, memories and secrets, all

that you could humanly muster.

But that something remained that you could not tell, a

truth so painful that you kept silent

to alleviate the pain that followed.

You were shielding me, as much as 

how you were shielding yourself. 

Denial was painful enough, but you knew,

that in the very end, acknowledgement would 

rip our hearts apart.

So you held the hurt within yourself, playing

the game of charades with flawless

brilliance. Such that even I for once,

was fooled.

Then you left, one day, 

with an abruptness so sudden it stung. You

never wanted to tell me, never wanted me 

to ever find out

You would leave as a phantom in the night,

mute and silent, treading your path 

so carefully that I would never know. When I awoke

you were already gone, vanished with the 

billowing gusts of wind

Now it is my turn, to play

that very game of deception, to uphold

a wavering illusion. It is pitiful,

but that is all that I am capable of

I dream that you are back here, back

together with me at the swings,

smiling that beautiful smile that 

shines with the undiminished radiance

of the rising sun

Or else I dream and live as you did,

wallowing in stubborn denial, hoping  

that you had never existed, had never left, 

had never gone.. 

This is the one wound that time alone

will heal. It will go away, this burning

that is my regret.  You friendship was to me

what opium is to an addict, it beckoned and

drew me into a vortex that I, in all eternity,

would never be able to crawl out of

The plane is departing for China now, 

with you riding on its metal wings, moving on

to the new land beyond. 

Leave your grief to move forward

unburdened by the weight of regret. Leave 

this place with its tainted feelings, leave

to seek and find more.

You will never read this. It is condemned 

to languish in a forgotten drawer, buried

by the weight of other papers that will, no doubt

pile atop it. 

But I want you to know that I will stay waiting, 

Waiting as the friend that I was, waiting

for you to return. 

I know it deep deep down, that our friendship 

will never change; Their beauty marred not by time, 

but accentuated with the passing of age. They mellow, 

as does the finest wine.

True, nothing beautiful lasts forever,

but while they last,

they are forever beautiful.

~Owari~


End file.
